Lifestyle
Tesla owner sends off his used Model S P100D with epic love letter
A Tesla owner from San Diego, CA has decided to part ways with his Model S P100D in the most epic way possible, crafting an extensive, expressive love letter dedicated to the electric car as he listed it in the used vehicle market.
The 2016 Model S P100D is currently listed in OnlyUsedTesla.com, a service that offers Tesla owners a platform to post their vehicles to would-be electric car buyers. In a website where there are hundreds of Teslas for sale, how does one stand out?
Through a killer ad, of course. Or in this case, a passionate love letter to a (hopefully) soon-to-be-sold “Midlife Crisis Red” Model S P100D named Scarlet. Here is an abridged version of the advertisement, and we have to say, it’s a pretty enjoyable read, even if you’re not in the market for a used, well-maintained Model S.
I don’t know how else to say it, but it’s ME, not you, Scarlet. You are the most perfect amazing car I have ever laid eyes on and I smile every time I look at you. Please, as I profess my love of you and explain myself, let me cover a few points:
What you do for me?
You are so sexy. I have been caught taking pictures of you in the parking lot and sneaking into the garage at night just to sit in you. Maybe love is blind, but I haven’t seen a hotter P100DL – not in pictures, not on the road, not in my dreams.
Your build is one of the best Model S’ I have seen. Being this was a car used for Tesla ads and delivered to me with 65 miles on it, I am sure they put extra love into your build.
We had many romantic nights gazing at the stars through your enormous (not like that) glass top.
Really, sweetie, the only thing you are missing are those silly jump seats but unfortunately, the family needs that. I am sure you know what I did for you, but let me remind you that as a detail-oriented Electrical and Mechanical Engineer, you were the right girl for me, and I, right for you:
My kids had their shoes off and ears ringing from my screaming at them.
I patted down those kids and even *that other lady * before they were allowed in. Haha! Remember that time they were dirty, and they ALL had to ride home naked? Great times.
I will say that you have a bit of a shoe problem. Those $10,000 slightly wider 285 HRE’s were really excessive — even for you.
When you blacked-out your glass and shiny parts, and wore those shoes, my heart stopped, and I cried inside. Sorry I never told you that, but why do you also need those brand new Silver Staggered Arachnids THAT YOU HAVEN’T EVEN WORN!? Don’t get me started on the drilled slotted blingy rings (R1 Performance rotors) that have also never been taken out of the box.
Also, why did you buy that tent (outdoor cover) when we have a four-car garage that you were always in?
And seriously, who has been feeding you? I am concerned as I never see you eat (free Supercharging for life).
Why did you have those “SD all weather floor mats” when you live in SAN DIEGO!? YEAH, I kept your old ones for the next bloke.
Sorry, that really isn’t important now, but I do want you to know for your next partner’s sake.
On that note, I have always known you were bisexual so just come out with it, own it, and find yourself a nice lady because I would guess she would take better care of you than some other guy. Even mentioning you with another guy just made me puke in my mouth and reconsidering this lunacy.
Again, I am really sorry we must part ways but at this point in my life, I am just not good enough for you (or so that other lady says), and I want you back out there while in your prime. My family needs me, so try to understand.
With all my love, respect, you were my first love, and I will never forget you.
PS. Please don’t make fun of the fat, flappy-armed gal I am replacing you with (Model X). She is more of a family gal, if you know what I mean.
PSS. To whom it may concern, I love this car and may pull the ad and rob a bank at any moment to keep her. This car has all options except FSD and the rear jump-seats. I really did take meticulous care of her and while there are a couple of bits of the film that has road damage, the paint and clear under is perfect. I didn’t abuse my Prius, much less this amazing car.
The vehicle’s asking price is $120,000, which is a bit steep for a two-year-old Model S P100D. Considering the upgrades that were performed on the car, as well as its freebies, however, the price is actually pretty reasonable.
The listing for the electric car, as well as the unabridged version of the Tesla owner’s advertisement, can be accessed here.
Last year, a survey from Autolist.com, a car shopping service, found that the Tesla Model S depreciates less than vehicles from other automakers. Second-hand Teslas were also found to sell faster than other cars in their segment. According to the findings of the survey, a second-hand Model S takes about 87 days on average before it gets sold, making it 5% faster than its competitors from BMW, Mercedes, Audi, and Lexus.
Elon Musk has been pretty open about the idea of FSD being the difference maker for Tesla’s future.
If Tesla succeeds in achieving FSD, it could become the world’s most valuable company. If it doesn’t, then the company would not be able to reach its optimum potential.
FSD Supervised’s safety benefits:
- But even if FSD is still not perfect today, FSD Supervised is already making a difference on the roads today.
- This was highlighted in Tesla’s Q4 2024 Vehicle Safety Report.
- As per Tesla, it recorded one crash for every 5.94 million miles driven in which drivers were using Autopilot technology.
- For comparison, the most recent data available from the NHTSA and FHWA (from 2023) showed that there was one automobile crash every 702,000 miles in the United States.
This morning, Tesla FSD proved to be an absolute godsend. I had to take my brother-in-law to the hospital in Sugar Land, TX, which is 40 miles away, at the ungodly hour of 4 AM. Both of us were exhausted, and he was understandably anxious about the surgery.
— JC Christopher (@JohnChr08117285) January 29, 2025
The convenience of…
FSD user’s tale:
- As per an FSD user’s post on social media platform X, FSD Supervised was able to help him drive a relative to a medical facility safely even if he was exhausted.
- During the trip, the driver only had to monitor FSD Supervised’s performance to make sure the Tesla operated safely.
- In a vehicle without FSD, such a trip with an exhausted driver would have been quite dangerous.
- “This morning, Tesla FSD proved to be an absolute godsend. I had to take my brother-in-law to the hospital in Sugar Land, TX, which is 40 miles away, at the ungodly hour of 4 AM. Both of us were exhausted, and he was understandably anxious about the surgery.
- “The convenience of sending the hospital’s address directly from my iPhone to my Tesla while still inside my house, then just a single button press once inside, and 40 miles later we were precisely in front of the hospital’s admissions area.This experience really underscores just how transformative this technology can be for society,” Tesla owner JC Christopher noted in his post.
Don’t hesitate to contact us with news tips. Just send a message to simon@teslarati.com to give us a heads up.
There are few things that prove an enthusiast’s love towards a company more than a dedicated short film. This was highlighted recently when YouTube’s SoKrispyMedia posted a 10-minute action movie starring Optimus, Tesla’s humanoid robot, as well as several of the company’s most iconic products.
The video:
- Shot like a Hollywood action flick, the video featured a rather humorous plot involving a group of thieves that mistakenly targeted a Tesla Model 3 driver.
- The Model 3 driver then ended up speaking to Tesla for assistance, and some high-octane and high-speed hijinks ensued.
- While the short film featured several Tesla products like the Model 3, Superchargers, and the Cybertruck, it is Optimus that truly stole the show.
- Optimus served several roles in the short film, from an assistant in a Tesla office to a “robocop” enforcer that helped out the Model 3 driver.
Future Robo-cop @Tesla_Optimus
— SOKRISPYMEDIA (@sokrispymedia) January 12, 2025
full video: https://t.co/TXpSRhcP5K pic.twitter.com/YFHZ7siAP7
Cool inside jokes:
- The best Tesla videos are those that show an in-depth knowledge of the company, and SoKrispyMedia definitely had it.
- From the opening scenes alone, the video immediately poked fun at TSLA traders, the large number of gray Tesla owners, and the fact that many still do not understand Superchargers.
- The video even poked fun at Tesla’s software updates, as well as how some Tesla drivers use Autopilot or other features without reading the fine print in the company’s release notes.
- The video ended with a tour de force of references to Elon Musk products, from the Tesla Cybertruck to the Boring Company Not-a-Flamethrower, which was released back in 2018.
Check out SoKrispyMedia’s Tesla action short film in the video below.
Don’t hesitate to contact us with news tips. Just send a message to simon@teslarati.com to give us a heads up.
Tesla definitely seems to be determined to release the coolest lineup of accessories for its coolest vehicle. As could be seen in an update to the Tesla Shop, the electric vehicle maker has now launched a metal key card for the Cybertruck—because why not?
Cybertruck keys:
- The Cybertruck, similar to Tesla’s other vehicles, is shipped with a regular key card.
- The vehicle could also be accessed and locked through a phone key.
- As per the Cybertruck’s Owner’s Manual, the all-electric pickup truck is capable of supporting a total of 19 keys.
The Cybertruck’s Metal Key Card:
- Tesla’s Cybertruck Metal Key Card functions much like the vehicle’s regular key card, but it is finished using premium stainless steel
- As per Tesla’s description of the item:
- “Convenient, durable, versatile. The Cybertruck Metal Key Card is a premium stainless-steel alternative to our traditional plastic key cards, making it easy to access your Cybertruck without your Phone Key. Ideal for when your phone is unavailable or when sharing your vehicle with a friend or valet.”
- The Cybertruck Metal Key Card costs $60.
- In comparison, the Cybertruck’s regular key card is sold for $40.
- The Cybertruck Metal Key Card comes with the metal key card itself, as well as a bifold key card wallet.
Tesla Cybertruck merch push:
- Being the company’s most eye-catching vehicle, it is no surprise that that Tesla has been releasing quite a lot of merchandise inspired by the all-electric pickup truck.
- These include a $250 levitating Cybertruck model, as well as a $35 Cybertruck wind-up racer, both of which are out of stock.
- Tesla also sells the $35 “CyberMug,” a $40 “CyberStein,” and a $50 “CyberVessel.”
- Other Cybertruck-inspired merchandise are the $60 Cyberwhistle Stealth, and the $50 CyberOpener.
Don’t hesitate to contact us with news tips. Just send a message to simon@teslarati.com to give us a heads up.
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